My new and dear friend RainStar typed this up and sent it! This would of taken me forever to type up LOL. Thank you Rain!!!!
 

Handfasting
By: Raymond Buckland, from his book "Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft"

Handfasting

Handfasting is the Wiccan word for the marriage ceremony. Unlike the
Christian form, where the man and woman are locked together "till death do us
part" (even if they later grow apart and eventually come to almost hate one
another), the Wiccan ceremony joins man and woman "for so long as love shall
last". When there is no longer love between them, they are free to go their
separate ways.

These days most couples write their own Handfasting ceremony. I here give the
Seax-Wica rite as an example. You may like to use it as it is, or just as a
basis for your own ideas. Read it carefully. In addition to being very
beautiful. I think you will find that it makes a great deal of sense.

Handfasting Rite

This rite should be performed during the waxing of the Moon. The Altar may be
decked with flowers and flowers strewn about the Circle. If the coven
normally wears robes, for this rite it is suggested that the Bride and Groom
at least be skyclad; preferably the whole coven.

It is traditional in the Seax-Wica for the Bride and Groom to exchange rings.
These are usually gold or silver bands with the couple's (Craft) names
inscribed on them in runes. These rings rest on the altar at the start of the
rite. The Priapic Wand is also on the altar.

The Erecting the Temple is performed. PRIEST and PRIESTESS kiss.

Covener: "There are those in our midst who seek the bond of Handfasting."

Priestess: "Let them be named and brought forward."

Covener: "...(Groom's name)... is the Man and... (Bride's name)... is the
Woman."

BRIDE and GROOM move forward to stad facing Priest and Priestess across the
altar -- Bride opposite Priest and Groom opposite Priestess.

Priestess (to Groom): "Are you... (Name)...?"

Groom: "I am."

Priestess: "What is your desire?"

Groom: "To be made one with... (Bride's name)..., in the eyes of the Gods and
the Wicca."

Priest (to Bride): "Are you... (Name)...?"

Bride: "I am."

Priest: "And what is your desire?"

Bride: "To be made one with... (Groom's name)..., in the eyes of the Gods and
the Wicca."

PRIESTESS replaces sword on altar, then takes her athame and holds the point
of it to Groom's chest. Groom repeats the following, line by line:

Priestess: "Repeat after me: 'I,... (Name)..., do come here of my own free
will to seek the partnership of... (Bride's name)... I come with all love,
honor and sincerity, wishing only to become one with her whom I love. Always
will I strive for... (Bride's name)...'s happiness and welfare. Her life will
I defend before my own. May the athame be plunged into my heart should I not
be sincere in all that I declare. All this I swear in the names of the gods*.
May they give me the strength to keep my vows. So mote it be.' "

PRIESTESS lowers her athame. Priest then raises his athame and, in turn,
holds it to the breast of the Bride. She repeats the oath, line by line,
after him:

Priest: "Repeat after me: 'I,... (Name)..., do come here of my own free will,
to seek the partnership of... (Groom's name)... I come with all love, honor
and sincerity, wishing only to become one with him who I love. Always will I
strive for... (Groom's name)...'s happiness and welfare. His life will I
defend before my own. May the athame be plunged into my heart should I not be
sincere in all that I declare. All this I swear in the names of the gods*.
May they give me the strength to keep my vows. So mote it be.' "

(*Names used for the gods may be inserted here.)

PRIEST lowers the athame. PRIESTESS takes up the two rings and sprinkles and
censes both. She hands the Bride's ring to the Groom and the Groom's ring to
the Bride. They take them in their right hands, remaining holding the Priapic
Wand with their left hands.

Priest: "As the grass of the fields and the trees of the woods bend together
under the pressures of the storm, so too must you both bend when the wind
blows strong. But know that as quickly as the storm comes, so equally quickly
may it leave. Yet will you both stand, strong in each other's strength. As
you give love; so will you receive love. As you give strength; so will you
receive strength. Together you are one; apart you are as nothing."

Priestess: "Know you that no two people can be exactly alike. No more can any
two people fit together, perfect in every way. There will be times when it
will seem hard to give and to love. But see then your reflection as in a
woodland pool: when the image you see looks sad and angered, then is the time
for you to smile and to love (for it is not fire that puts out fire). In
return will the image in the pool smile and love. So change your anger for
love and tears for joy. It is no weakness to admit a wrong; more is it a
strength and a sign of learning."

Priest: "Ever love, help and respect each other, and then know truly that you
are one in the eyes of the Gods and of the Wicca."

All: "So Mote It Be!"

PRIEST takes the Priapic Wand from couple and replaces it on the altar. BRIDE
and GROOM each place ring on the other's finger and kiss. They then kiss
Priest and Priestess across the altar, then move deosil about the Circle to
be congratulated by the others.

Then shall follow the ceremony of Cakes and Ale followed by games and
merriment.
 

As I said at the beginning of this lesson, in many religions marriage is
meant to be a lifetime partnership. Even though it may turn out that after a
few years a couple find they are really unsuited to one another, they are
stuck for the rest of their lives. This invariably leads to great unhappiness
for the husband, wife and any children. Although Witches most certainly do
not encourage casual partnerships, they do recognize the fact that some
marriages just do not work out ideally. When this is the case, and when all
attempts have been made to settle any differences, then they will dissolve
the partnership with the old ceremony of Handparting. This, of course, is
never undertaken lightly.

Handparting Rite

Before the ceremony the couple will sit with the Priest and Priestess and
work out a fair division of their property, plus provision for support of any
children of the marriage. A scribe will make note of this and the record will
be signed by all. If either husband or wife are not available for the rite
*by reason of relocation, ill health or whatever), then a Witch of the
appropriate sex may stand in for the missing party. The rite will take place
in this fashion only if there is a signed agreement from the missing party,
together with the marriage ring.

The Erecting the Temple is performed. Priest and Priestess kiss.

Covener: "...(Husband's name)... and... (Wife's name)..., stand forth."

Husband and Wife stand before the altar, Husband facing Priestess and Wife
facing Priest.

Priestess: "Why are you here?"

Husband: "I wish a Handparting from... (Name)..."

Priest: "Why are you here?"

Wife: "I wish a Handparting from... (Name)..."

Priestess: "Do you both desire this of your own free will?"

Husband and Wife: "We do."

Priest: Has a settlement been reached between you regarding the division of
property and (if appropriate) care fot eh children?"

Husband and Wife: "It has."

Priest: "has this been duly recorded, signed and witnessed?"

Covener-Scribe: "It has."

Priest: "Then let us proceed, remembering that we stand before the gods."

HUSBAND and WIFE join hands. They repeat the following, line by line,
speaking together.

Priestess: "Together repeat after me: 'I,... (Name)..., do hereby most freely
dissolve my partnership with... (Spouse's name)... I do so in all honesty and
sincerity, before the Gods, with my brothers and sisters of the Craft as
witnesses. No longer are we as One, but now are Two individuals, free to go
our separate ways. We release all ties, one to the other, yet ever will we
retain respect for one another, as we have love and respect for our fellow
Wiccans. So be it.' "

Priest: "Hand Part!"

HUSBAND and WIFE release each other's hands, remove their marriage rings and
give them to the Priestess. She sprinkles and censes them, saying:

Priestess: "In the names of the Gods do I cleanse these rings."

She returns them to the couple, to do with them as they wish.

Priestess: "Now are you handparted. Let all know you as such. Go your
separate ways in Peace and in Love - never in bitterness - and in the ways of
the Craft. So mote it be."

All: "So mote it be."

Then shall follow the ceremony of the Cakes and Ale and the Clearing of the
Temple.
 
 

Pagan Handfasting for General Use
RT 16-127-0, by Brigantia Stone, June 1999
My Elders taught me to work the rites of passage for my close Craft kin, which
ordinarily means my current and former coveners. Inasmuch as our religion is
highly decentralised, I wouldn't ordinarily expect to be asked to do a
handfasting service for someone outside such close kinship, since most other
Initiates would have their own priestess to turn to.
However, it came about that a couple of Pagans, who were well-known to me (and
well-beloved), asked me to do their handfasting, and in a moment of temporary
agreeability I assented. Then I had several months to think about what would
constitute a workable handfasting service for my Pagan friends, who intended to
have a mixed crowd of Pagans and non-Pagans, including their family and their
workmates, as guests and as scripted participants in their wedding.
I still hold to my belief that as a working priestess, my primary duty lies with
my own close kinfolk. But it's just possible that you or I may have to do a
formal handfasting in "mixed company" some day, where the use of anything from
your own Book of Shadows might not be altogether appropriate (or, indeed,
recognisable as a wedding rite by many of the guests). The following script is
my own solution to the matter at hand.
As far as any of us can tell, we managed to get the couple "married off" just
fine and dandy. And that is what it's supposed to be all about. Timings given
are in hours and minutes relative to the time of the assembly of the People
(which, in our case, was planned to be 4:00 PM and was actually about 4:02 PM. )
[H - 4:00] Site open
Arrive at ritual-grounds and commence offloading of equipment, supplies, food
and beverages. Simple snack-food and soft-drinks are available to the set-up
crew.
[H - 3:00] Tentage up
Nuptial tent is set up, followed by the Priestess' and Keeper's tents, allowing
them to have privacy for changing costumes. All tent-groups share equipment and
supplies as need be
[Note: the Priestess discovered that she had packed much more bedding than
anyone could ever need or want, but she had forgotten to pack any of her
tent-pegs or fly-lines. Having set her tent secure against any conceivable
storm, the weather was, of course, quite lovely!]
[H - 2:00] Layout
The Outer Circle, 9 metres (ca. 30 feet) in diameter, is defined with surveyor's
picket-stakes and cardinally-coloured ribbon amongst the trees. All parts of the
rite will be performed within the Outer Circle, or within the Working Circle
that is central to it. A gateway will be placed just to the north of the East
quarter of this Circle. Guests will stand around the margins of the Circle. In
the event of rain, large teamsters' paulins will be strung as flies between the
trees. Four altars are placed within the Outer Circle, at the four canonical
quarters. The altars are small, three-legged wooden tables with appropriate
cloth covers.
A Working Circle of customary dimensions will be discreetly drawn within the
centre of the Outer Circle, with a passageway upon its eastern quadrant. The
High Altar will be placed within the centre of the Working Circle, exactly
within the centre of the Outer Circle; this altar will face to the south. The
High Altar is four-legged, and provision must therefore be made for shimming and
staking it into position on rough ground.
The Bride and her Maiden, the Groom and his Guardian, and the Priestess will
transact the sacramental portions of the rite within the Working Circle.
An Order of Service card will be given to all guests and scripted participants.
Scripted participants also receive an aide-memoire, in a form that can be kept
close to hand, which conveniently details their particular role: Maiden,
Guardian, Summoner, Pathfinder, East, South, West, North. The Maiden and
Summoner receive full copies of this script, presented for their use in a small,
weather-proof binder. The Priestess has an altar book, also compact and
weather-proof, which contains the entire script of the rite plus one copy of
each aide-memoire, her Load Plan for the Magic Box, and various other notes and
planning worksheets.
[H - 1:30] Preparing the space
Groom and Guardian: will stake out the periphery of the Outer Circle, using
surveyors' pickets and tapes. A radius-line will be used to ensure that it is
indeed circular, and that it is centred upon the intended location of the High
Altar.
[H - 1:15] Building the altars
Keepers: elemental altars are brought into place and set by their respective
keepers; each elemental altar is placed in its canonical quarter of the
working-space.
East has a fan, lighter, two charcoal, censer, incense, a yellow ribbon.
South has a red candle and a hurricane cover, lighter, a red ribbon.
West has an large open shell and small pitcher of water, a blue ribbon.
North has an empty bowl and small sack of soil, a green ribbon.
At North of East, where the gateway shall be, there is a large basket full of
ribbons.
Priestess: traces the Working Circle around the centre-point, setting its radius
appropriately. She then places and sets the High Altar over the centre-point.
High Altar has embroidered white altar-cloth, and the sacramental set of china
and glassware; also knife, salt, water, blessing-oil, incense, censer and
charcoals, two shutter-lamps for the Lady and Lord, and the Providence lamp.
On south side of altar are Bride and Groom's goblets (each has one), a small
platter, and a plate of bread. On north side of altar is the Priestess' cup.
Beneath the altar are spare charcoals, decanter of wine, plate with bread, and
libation-bowl.
Also beneath the altar, on ground at north side, is a consecrated butane
fire-lighter, alongside sword and sheath. Broom is placed on ground on south
side of altar.
[H - 1:00] Concordance
When altars are made and placed, the Guardian and Groom, Keepers and Priestess
gather at the High Altar, for their pre-service concordance discussion, led by
the Priestess.
[Note: a lengthy discussion ensued concerning photography: the photographers
weren't altogether happy about being asked to forgo the use of flash-guns, but
they willingly agreed to restrict their activities to outside the Working
Circle, which allowed the Bride and Groom (and the rather shy Priestess) to
remain calm and unruffled by their presence. As it turned out, the Bride and
Groom were serenely unaware of anything other than each other! The Priestess, in
turn, was preoccupied with keeping the service on track and scarcely noticed the
photographers at all.]
[H - 0:30] Prayer
Priestess: fires the censer (which needs about 15 minutes to reach operating
temperature), lights the Providence lamp, then leads a prayer for all scripted
participants who are present.
Lord and Lady,
You have made the bond of marriage a holy mystery,
a symbol of Your love for us.
Hear our prayers for G-- and B--.
With abiding faith in You, and continuing faith in each other,
they will pledge their love today.
May their lives always bear witness
to the reality of that love.
We make this prayer in the name of all that is,
So mote it be.
All others: scripted participants present may now leave the ritual-grounds and
attend to such business as they may have. This is an appropriate time to take a
tea-break. Guardian and Groom should stick close together.
[H - 0:25] Consecrations
Priestess: consecrates elements in the appropriate manner.
She then walks the Outer Circle twice round from East to East, marking the
doorway to the North of East:
Drawing round, cutting the Circle from bank to bank, saying the Kenjurie by
quarters.
[Note: text of the Kenjurie is not given here, as it will change according to
your Tradition and circumstances.]
Consecration round, with censer fully stoked:
Creature of fire, this charge I lay
no discord in Thy presence stay
hear my will addressed to Thee,
as I do will, so mote it be!
[Note: this charge is adapted from Paul Huson's text as given in Mastering
Witchcraft, which we are accustomed to use for O.C. purposes.]
Priestess: then draws and fully casts Working Circle by herself, in a manner
appropriate to the circumstances, leaving doorway open in east quadrant,
collinear with the gateway in the Outer Circle.
[H-hour] Processional
Summoner: ringing a loud bell in triple peals, calling three times:
Hear ye, hear ye! - the service is about to begin...
At this time, Keepers, Guardian and Groom excuse themselves discreetly and
retire to the ritual-grounds.
Summoner: once all others save the Bride and Maiden (who are in seclusion) have
gathered by kitchen:
Before our service starts, I have a couple of items to discuss with you about
what will be happening afterward. There will be a receiving line following the
rite's end. After the receiving line, in keeping with tradition we shall all
walk the Bride and Groom to their tent. Once at the tent the Bride's garter will
be thrown for our single lads and of course the Bride's bouquet will be thrown
to our single ladies. I ask all those who were asked to be guides to put up
their hands. These people are here to help ensure you do not get lost (or eaten
by bears). So let us now begin.
[Note: we were in bear country, but the principal reason for mentioning bears
was to set the stage for the Bride's and Groom's nuptial gifts to the People,
which were individual sets of bear-bells.]
Guardian and Groom: come directly over to the ritual-grounds with the Keepers,
ahead of the procession, and enter through the gate. Guardian escorts the Groom
to his place on the south side of the High Altar.
Guardian: then takes up his staff and goes to the North of East and establishes
safe passage through the gateway within the Outer Circle, so that the procession
may pass through it and into the ritual-grounds.
Pathfinders: intermix themselves with the rest of the guests, thus ensuring that
all people have the chance to follow along. Pathfinders lead the People to the
ritual-grounds, passing through the gateway in the North of East and circling
around to the North of East, thus filling the space round. There should be
sufficient room for everyone to stand just inside the Circle.
[Note: as the Outer Circle had been drawn at 4.6 metre (15 feet) radius, it was
a tight fit, indeed. Our choice of Circle size was governed by the available
clear space in the forest.]
Maiden and Bride: will wait in the nuptial tent, where Maiden had been assisting
the Bride to change into her gown.
East Keeper: stands just inside the gateway and hands to everyone a ribbon
(including the people who will also have an 'official' ribbon); she directs
everyone to move deosil (clockwise) round the bounds of the space. Afterwards
she waits just within the gate, for the Bride's and Maiden's subsequent arrival.
[Note: ribbons were cut to be 1 metre (ca. 3 feet) long; this turned out to have
been too short for convenient use, and we should have cut them 1.2 to 1.5 metres
(4 to 5 feet) long. Because of the handing-out of individual ribbons at the
gateway, it took the People about 10 minutes to enter the ritual-grounds;
perhaps it would have been better to have the Pathfinders take several baskets
around to offer the People their own chance to choose a ribbon at greater
leisure, beforehand.]
Summoner: is the last person within the procession, and he waits outside the
gate (he will subsequently go to fetch the Bride and Maiden.)
Guardian: closes the gateway and returns to the Main Altar, where he lays down
his staff before the altar and stands to the right of the Priestess.
[H + 0:10] Completing the Outer Circle
[Note: although the Outer Circle had been already marked out, and its potential
location consecrated, it has not yet been completed. In this way, all of the
People could be within a Pagan Circle made in a manner appropriate to the mix of
Pagans, non-Pagans, Initiates of various Traditions, and assorted others (and
made in a manner consistent with the Priestess' own oath and vows), and yet
avoiding the impropriety of having Initiates be outside the bounds during the
making of the Circle. The inner Working Circle, on the other hand, was of the
Priestess' own sole concern and devising, and thus could be arranged by her as
she saw fit, again consistent with oath and vows. In practice, very few of the
People were even aware of the inner Circle.]
Drummer: steady heartbeat while Priestess is actually walking round the Circle.
Casting round:
Creature of earth, where Thou art cast,
let no adverse purpose last,
not in complete accord with me,
as I do will, so mote it be!
[Note: this charge is adapted from Paul Huson's text as given in Mastering
Witchcraft.]
[H + 0:13] Calling the Quarters
Summoner: goes off through the forest to fetch the Bride and Maiden from the
nuptial tent, where the Bride has been made ready to come to her wedding. He
does not step into the nuptial tent, but calls to them from outside it.
Keepers: stand before their altars, moving around to the inside of their altar
when each in turn calls in their respective elemental powers.
Priestess: turning to the East:
Powers of East, Powers of Air, I call thee forth.
East Keeper: placing incense in censer, raising for all to see
Hail, guardians of the East!
Come forth and bear witness to B-- and G--, who have come to know great love for
one another, and for their children.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows towards East, turns again and replaces censer on altar
Priestess: turning to the South:
Powers of South, Powers of Fire, I call thee forth.
South Keeper: lighting the candle, raising for all to see
Hail, guardians of the South!
Come forth and bear witness to G-- and B--, who will make a daring leap together
into partnership.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows to the South, turns again and replaces candle on altar.
Priestess: turning to the West:
Powers of West, Powers of Water, I call thee forth.
West Keeper: pouring water into the shell, raising for all to see:
Hail, guardians of the West!
Come forth and bear witness to B-- and G--, whose mutual intention is to marry
one another, in this place and at this time.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows to the West, turns again and replaces shell on altar.
Priestess: turning to the North:
Powers of North, Powers of Earth, I call thee forth.
North Keeper: pouring soil into bowl, raising for all to see:
Hail, guardians of the North!
Come forth and bear witness to G-- and B--, who wait upon this time of great
joy, with steadfastness and quiet assurance.
Hail and welcome!
She turns and bows to the North, turns again and replaces bowl on altar
All four Elemental Keepers remain standing at their altars, facing to Centre.
Priestess: turns to the East and salutes with a kiss.
[altar bell 3 x]
Priestess: kneels before the altar and lights the Lady candle:
Great Mother, whom I serve, please be here now as G-- and B-- intend to join one
another in the sacrament of marriage.
She lights the Lord candle:
Beloved Father, whom I adore, please be here now as B-- and G-- intend to join
one another in the sacrament of marriage.
[altar bell 3 x]
[H + 0:18] Bridal Party's Arrival
Summoner, Bride and Maiden: have made their way to the outside of the Outer
Circle, and have been waiting at the North of East.
Guardian: picks up his staff and comes to the North of East, where he again
makes safe the place and opens the gateway for the bridal party to pass into the
Circle.
Summoner: leads Bride and Maiden to the High Altar. Then he retires to the North
of East, within the Outer Circle, and enjoys the remainder of the service.
Guardian: comes to the High Altar and lays his staff down again. He retrieves
the rings and ribbons from wherever he has kept them, and places the rings on
the small plate upon the altar, keeping the ribbons in his hand. He now takes
his place to the left of the Maiden.
Priestess: calls the blessing unto them:
Gracious Lady, Gentle Lord.
Grant Your blessing and protection upon these two,
who have come before You,
to celebrate the sacrament of marriage
in the presence of their People.
So mote it be!
[H + 0:22] Elemental blessings
Priestess:
And now we shall introduce G-- and B-- to the Elemental Powers to seek their
blessings upon this enterprise.
She takes her seat on North side of altar, which the Guardian has placed there.
He sets forth seats for the other celebrants as well.
Maiden: leads Bride and Groom to East:
Hail, winds of the East!
East Keeper: standing, raising the fan, facing the couple:
What is it you seek from the Powers of Air?
Bride:
We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
East Keeper: while wafting air towards them with the fan:
Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the East:
Clear understanding of each other, and of yourselves.
Knowledge that each day is a fresh start of your life as a family.
Joy in teaching your children together, and watching them learn about life.
She replaces fan on altar, hands Maiden a yellow ribbon, motions the party
onward, and sits down.
Maiden: leads the couple to the South:
Hail, fires of the South!
South Keeper: standing, raising the candle, facing the couple:
What is it you seek from the Powers of Fire?
Groom: responds:
We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
Bride: hands bouquet to Maiden:
South Keeper: hands the couple the lit candle to hold together:
Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the South:
Shared discoveries as a family, experiencing new things together.
Inspiration to find new ways to surprise one another.
Opportunities to take on new ventures, and receive great rewards, together.
She collects the candle from the couple, replaces it on the altar, hands Maiden
a red ribbon, motions the party onward, and sits down.
Maiden: hands bouquet back to the Bride, and leads the couple to the West:
Hail, waters of the West!
West Keeper: standing, raising the shell of water, facing the couple:
What is it you seek from the Powers of Water?
Groom: responds:
We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
West Keeper: sprinkling water on the couple:
Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the West:
Clear understanding of each other's desire.
Resolve to stand by each other, no matter what may come to pass.
Patience in those moments when your children ask a great deal of you.
She replaces shell on altar, hands Maiden a blue ribbon, motions the party
onward, and sits down.
Maiden: leads the couple on to the North:
Hail, hills of the North!
North Keeper: standing, raising small bowl of earth, facing the couple:
What is it you seek from the Powers of Earth?
Bride: responds:
We seek your blessing and guidance for our marriage.
North Keeper:
Then each give me your hand.
She sprinkles a little bit of earth on the backs of the Bride's and Groom's
hands.
Blessed be your marriage with these gifts from the North:
Strength to do what you must do, when you must do it, and together as one.
Fertility, in all its many forms and manifestations.
Stability, such that you can always meet your family's needs.
North Keeper: replaces the bowl of earth onto the altar, hands Maiden a green
ribbon, motions the party onward, and sits down.
Maiden: leads Bride and Groom to their places at the High Altar, takes her place
beside Guardian, while still holding onto all of the ribbons.
[H + 0:32] Commissioning
Priestess:
Love is an integral part of life, for without the spark of love, there is
nothing to empower the mystery of continuance, and without continuance, all life
will cease to be. This is how we came to be, and now we are gathered here
together because our parents, and our parent's parents, and so on before them,
felt that spark, and empowered that continuance, and made it possible for us to
be who we have become.
So it is today that, in the presence of the People, in the power of the Ancient
Providence, in the abiding love of the Lord and Lady, B-- and G-- are about to
marry one another, and share that spark of love with one another, and perhaps in
this moment we too will feel its passage, and again participate in that mystery
of continuance that becomes life itself.
G-- and B-- wish to declare, in our sight, their formal intent to share their
lives and make a family together with their children. In this day and age, many
people do not feel the need to make such a declaration, and yet many more still
do, for they remain aware of the presence of the mystery that underlies the
sacrament of marriage, and they value this presence, and so they make their
decision and act upon it as B-- and G-- are about to do.
As they make such a decision, there are four things which we must ask of them:
1. They must both understand what they are committing themselves to, for nobody
should stumble into marriage with eyes closed.
2. They must freely consent to their marriage, for any sort of trickery or
duress would render such a consent meaningless.
3. There must be no turning back. Both parties to a marriage must fully and
passionately intend to stick with it through difficulties as well as through
triumphs, otherwise they shall grievously hurt each other and the children who
trust in their wisdom. From this day forth, G-- and B-- will hold each other's
hearts in their hands.
4. In considering their decision to marry, we must ask them what they understand
by the word, 'love'. The decision to marry must stem, not from material gain,
social advantage or any other extrinsic reward, but from mutual and realistic
love. A marriage without love is an empty cup indeed.
Of these four things, the one which matters most is love, the abiding yet
surprising, practical yet passionate, mirthful yet reverent love -- the
difficult and complicated sort of love that we have to grow into. Marriage is a
place where we can learn from each other about that love.
Let B-- and G-- be not afraid to turn to us all for help when they need it. By
coming here together to this wild and wonderful place we demonstrate that we are
willing to stand by them as they consummate their great decision. And even
though none of us, least of all them, can see what is to come, let us all
encourage them as they go forward in hope, trusting in the Gods, the People, and
each other.
G-- and B-- are most evidently not afraid of adventure -- look where they are
standing today. Together they embrace the uncertainty of adventure, awaiting the
surprising discoveries which they shall make. Love, this spark of life, is the
greatest adventure of all.
[Note: This text is freely adapted to our needs from one of Flor McCarthy's
liturgies, as presented in his book, Wedding Liturgies. McCarthy, who is a
Catholic parish priest in Dublin, demonstrates a shrewd understanding of human
nature in his writing.]
Bride and Groom: join hands as the Priestess leads the Blessing Prayer:
Let us pray together....
[Note: the text of the Blessing Prayer, as appropriately adapted for general
use, was provided in the Order of Service, and also included in the
aides-memoire for the Keepers, Summoner, Guardian and Maiden. I have not
included the full text here, as the format and content of the prayer will vary
according to your own circumstances.]
[H + 0:38] Collaboration
Priestess: raising Unity candle from altar for all to see, facing Bride and
Groom:
Marriage is unique among the rites of life, in that it is a sacrament which
requires not one, but two empowered celebrants. Each celebrant comes to this
rite with his or her own history, abilities, empowerments, and hopes. Through
the sacred mystery of marriage, all of these things are commingled for the
common benefit of the celebrants. And so, in commingling their flames as one,
G-- and B-- now demonstrate their desire to work together as husband and wife.
Maiden: stands to receive bouquet into her safekeeping.
Priestess: lifts hurricane cover, then replaces it after lighting.
Bride and Groom: take one candle each from altar, and together they pass the
flame to the Unity candle.
[Note: because we had used shutter-lamps on the altar, owing to the windy
conditions at the ritual grounds, the Bride and Groom used tapers to transfer
the fire from the Lord and Lady candles to the Unity candle.]
Bride: hands bouquet to Maiden, who keeps it as she waits by the altar.
[H + 0:41] Establishing Legality and Capacity
[Note: the texts which follow are based on upon my own non-lawyerish
understanding of the marital provisions of Canadian common law, which is in turn
based upon English common law. The Criminal Code of Canada sets forth certain
additional requirements of a clergy-person, chaplain or civil marriage
officiant, in regard of marriage ceremonies. In this service I have sought to
carefully honour those legal requirements as I understand them (bearing in mind
that I am myself registered as a clergy-person in New York, which has its own
set of legal standards) as well as keeping true to my faith and my own personal
conception of the sacrament of marriage.]
Priestess: to the people:
Neither man nor woman is property to be bought or sold, given or taken. And yet,
the sacrament of marriage is a contractual act, proposed and consummated by
those who wish to share a life together.
As in all contracts, the act of marriage entails five things:
1. establishment of legality
2. demonstration of capacity
3. a mutual offer to marry
4. an equally mutual acceptance of that offer, and
5. an exchange of tokens in consideration of the act.
Bear in mind, however, that the rites of life are the rites of faith, not
exercises in legal draughtsmanship. So it is, that we simply ask our friends if
they are who they claim to be, if they are free to marry, and if they come of
their own free will.
She turns towards the Maiden:
Do you know the name of this woman?
Maiden:
She is B... [full name]
Priestess:
Can you vouch for her being free to marry this man?
Maiden:
Yes, I can.
Priestess: turning towards the Guardian:
What is the name of this man?
Guardian:
He is G... [full name]
Priestess:
Can you vouch for his being free to marry this woman?
Guardian:
Yes, I can.
Priestess:
B--, have you come here of your own free will and accord, without coercion or
false pretence?
Bride: responds
I have.
Priestess: turning towards Groom
G--, have you come here of your own free will and accord, without coercion or
false pretence?
Groom: responds
I have.
Priestess:
Then you may proceed.
Maiden: holds up the plate with the rings, so that Bride and Groom can have
access to them.
[H + 0:47] The Offer
Priestess: turning now to Groom:
G--, only you have the power to marry this woman, your best friend and partner,
who stands beside you. Do you now wish to have B-- as your wife, knowing her as
you do?
Groom:
I do.
Priestess:
Then take your own ring, and place it in B--'s hand.
He does this.
B--, only you have the power to marry this man, your best friend and partner,
who stands beside you. Do you now wish to have G-- as your husband, knowing him
as you do?
Bride:
I do.
Priestess:
Then take your own ring, and place it in G--'s hand.
She does this.
[H + 0:50] The Acceptance
Priestess: turning to the Groom:
G--, repeat after me:
I, G-- [his full name],
in the names of the Lord and Lady that reside in us all,
and in the love that resides within my heart,
take you and you alone,
B-- [her full name]
to be my wife and beloved partner.
I promise that I will honour our union
with words of adoration and actions of consideration,
and I commit myself to work together with you,
and to grow with you,
as individuals and as a family.
Priestess: turning to the Bride.
B--, repeat after me:
I, B-- [her full name],
in the names of the Lord and Lady that reside in us all,
and in the love that resides within my heart,
take you and you alone,
G-- [his full name]
to be my husband and beloved partner.
I promise to bring to our union
my compassion, understanding, fairness, and unconditional love.
I commit myself to honour, respect, believe in, and grow with you,
through the many challenges that lie before us.
[H + 0:55] The Consideration
Priestess: speaking to the people:
The wedding rings are tokens of G-- and B--'s love for one another, as they
exchange them, so do they offer the gift of consideration which is essential to
the true sacrament of marriage.
to the Bride:
B--, in consideration of your desire to marry G--, you may place his ring upon
his finger, now.
Bride puts the ring on Groom's left ring finger.
Priestess: speaking to the Groom:
G--, in consideration of your desire to marry B--, you may place her ring upon
her finger, now.
He puts the ring on her left ring finger.
Priestess:
And so have you both done.
So mote it be!
[H + 0:58] Ratification by the People
Priestess:
And now we will consider the symbolism of handfasting: the tying of the knot
that will join the Bride and Groom together in marriage.
Guardian: stepping out for all to hear:
The handfasting knot, which binds two lovers' hands together, represents their
sincere and hopeful intention to make an indissoluble union. Each of us has our
own thoughts on the matter, our own words to say, our own hopes and blessings.
In a moment, I will invite you all to come and add to the knot of handfasting.
But first, we will commence with the Bride's and Groom's ribbons, which
represent the good things that each brings to share in marriage.
Guardian and Maiden: now prepare to hand over the ribbons that they have
collected and kept safe.
Priestess:
May I have the Bride's ribbon and the Groom's ribbon?
Guardian: gives them to her.
Bride and Groom: join left hands, Priestess ties their hands together, closely
enough that the ribbons would not fall off, but not so tight as to cause harm..
May I have the ribbons which carry the powers of the Elements?
Maiden: gives them to Priestess, who ties them on as well.
Guardian:
Now I invite the People to come and join the Bride and Groom, and offer their
blessings and wishes to them.
As each of us contributes our ribbon to the knot, we share with G-- and B-- our
love, friendship, and abiding support for the marriage which they are making.
Bound together around their hands, the ribbons demonstrate our collective
ratification of their decision to marry one another.
Drummer: background drumbeat, perhaps changing tempo as need be to keep things
moving steadily along.
The People: come and tie their ribbons around the couple's hands, offering such
blessings and wishes as they may.
[note: there were 59 people in the Circle, exclusive of the Bride, Groom and
Priestess; each person took about 40 seconds to advance to the altar, offer
their wish, and tie the couple's hands. Some took more time, some took less
time. Many of those who were waiting to come to the altar were clapping in time
with the drummer, or moving in place. With a little bit of coaching, some of
them probably would have started dancing.]
[H + 1:26] The Mystery and the Blessing
Priestess:
Now raise your hands together, so that all may see.
(they raise their hands.)
Made to measure, wrought to bind,
blessed be, these lives entwined!
[Note: this couplet was adapted from Paul Huson's text as given in Mastering
Witchcraft]
By the powers vested in me by the [Note: insert the name of Vital Statistics
agency or clerk's office, if any, with which the Priestess has registered] and
by the Elders of our Faith, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss
now...
(they kiss, as long as it takes them to do so.)
What you have here done together with one another, let no one break apart.
May the Lord and Lady take notice of, and be favourably inclined toward your
union, and may you be blessed with health, prosperity and fruitfulness, from
this day forth and forevermore.
So mote it be!
turning to the People
I present to the People here assembled, and to the Gods and the spirits of this
place, Mrs. B-- [full hyphenated married name, as she chose it] and her Husband,
Mr. G-- [his full name, as he chose it]
[H + 1:30] Three firsts as a Couple
Priestess:
And now, as in all marriages, you have certain duties towards each other.
She pours wine from the decanter into her cup, and passes the cup into the Bride
and Groom's left hands which are bound together. She then takes up the knife
from the altar and passes it into the Bride and Groom's right hands, above the
cup. Their hands and arms thus describe the sign of perpetuity.
Bride and Groom:
As the knife is to the lover, so is the cup to the beloved
They lower the knife into the cup, saying:
And conjoint, they bring blessedness.
Priestess: takes the knife from them, and holds it. The Maiden holds the
libation bowl for them while they pour a libation into it.
Maiden: replaces the libation bowl beneath the altar, and takes up the plate
with the bread upon it, and places it upon the altar.
Priestess: takes the cup from the Bride and Groom, and then blesses the bread,
using blessing as appropriate for the purpose.
Lady bless this bread...
She then pours from her cup, one-third each into both the Bride's cup and the
Groom's cup. Then she gives the respective cups into the couple's free hands:
This is your first drink together. May you never thirst!
Bride and Groom: Bride holds cup for Groom while he drinks, Groom holds cup for
Bride while she drinks; then Priestess returns both cups to the altar.
Priestess: breaks bread, offering a part to the Gods, and giving a piece each to
Bride and Groom:
This is your first food together. May you never hunger!
Groom: holds bread for Bride while she eats.
Bride: holds bread for Groom while he eats. If any is left over they return it
to the altar.
[Note: there were no left-overs. We used a centre-slice from a loaf of sweet
bread that had been brought to the wedding-feast.]
Guardian and Maiden: place the Broom down on the ground about 1.2 metres (4
feet) south of the Main Altar. They hold the ends of the Broom in place upon the
ground.
Priestess:
This will be your first leap of faith together.
Maiden: gives bouquet to Bride, who holds it in her free hand.
The couple: jump the Broom, and join the People.
Guardian: takes his staff and goes to the outer gate, opening it and making safe
the passage of all the people. When all have gone through he follows last of
all, but need not close the gate.
Summoner:
Come now and join us in the woods, where the newly-weds have something that they
wish to share with us. Let's give them a head-start and then catch up with them!
Bride and Groom: skedaddle with the garter and bouquet, going on up to the upper
clearing.
Pathfinders: lead the procession out of the Circle, following them. Bouquet and
garter are duly tossed...
[H + 1:40] Closure
Priestess and all Keepers will close the Outer Circle.
[Note: we did this as quickly as we could, consistent with propriety, as some of
the Keepers wanted to join in the wedding-games.]
Priestess:
Thanks be to the Lord and the Lady.
And now, from East sunwise round to East, let us do what we must do.
East Keeper: stoking incense, raising censer overhead
Hail, guardians of the East! Thank you for your attendance at our rite. We bid
you, hail and farewell!
[altar bell 3x]
She replaces censer on altar
South Keeper: raising candle overhead
Hail, guardians of the South! Thank you for your attendance at our rite. We bid
you, hail and farewell!
[altar bell 3x]
She blows out candle, replaces candle on altar
West Keeper: raising bowl overhead, pouring water on ground
Hail, guardians of the West! Thank you for your attendance at our rite. We bid
you, hail and farewell!
[altar bell 3x]
She replaces bowl on altar
North Keeper: raising bowl overhead, sprinkling soil on ground
Hail, guardians of the North! Thank you for your attendance at our rite. We bid
you, hail and farewell!
[altar bell 3x]
She replaces bowl on altar
Priestess: salutes the East once more:
Come now to the Centre.
Priestess: clap hands 3x, with deliberation.
Thus what is Hers in truth, and mine in trust, returns to me for safekeeping. It
be done!
She extinguishes the Lord and Lady candles, but leaves the Providence lamp lit.
The remaining people all come together and together speak the Rune of Ending, as
appropriate to the circumstances. They then go out to join everyone else, once
they have packed the altars and tools away, and made sure that no flame, fire,
or sharps remain.
Priestess remains to make sure that all remaining intangibles are dealt with,
and that the ritual-grounds are returned to original state. The Providence lamp
is taken away, still lit, by the Priestess and hung on its stake before the
couple's tent, where it will burn all night.
[H + 1:50] Reception
Summoner: announces the receiving line and shortly after that the food will be
available.
[Note: the receiving line was probably superfluous, since everyone who was
present at the service had already hed the opportunity to congratulate the Bride
and Groom during the tying of the handfasting knot.]
Field Kitchen crew, assisted by Priestess and any other willing helpers, heads
for kitchen to prepare and lay out the wedding- feast.
[H + 2:00] Wedding Feast
Priestess: provides sword to Bride and Groom, for cutting of wedding-cake.
[Note: What we had for food was a few main dishes which had been prepared
beforehand by the kitchen crew, various snack-foods in bulk quantities, and some
potluck dishes that had been brought by the wedding-guests. Shortly after the
completion of the receiving line, people started drifting into the kitchen and
taking food before it had been brought out for the feast. The kitchen crew
responded by pressing some of these hungry people into service as porters, who
then carried some of the snack-foods and beverages out to the place where the
guests were seated. The remainder of the feast was available about an hour
later.]
[H + 3:00] Signing-in
Bride and Groom: sign two copies of certificate of handfasting, witnessed by the
Maiden and Guardian, and signed and sealed by the Priestess. One copy is given
to Bride and Groom; the other copy is retained by the Priestess for her records.
Celebrations now commence with the opening of the wedding-gifts, dances, and
general hilarity.
[H + 4:00] Walk-round
The ritual-grounds are cleaned and tidied before nightfall, and the last of the
evening's food is set out by the kitchen crew, who now have a chance to kick
back and party themselves.

The address of this page is:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Agora/2416/handpag1.html
Written by: Brigantia Stone, June 1999.
GWI: RT 16-127-0